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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Daycare - Day 1

This morning I left my baby with strangers....strangers that are certified to take care of her. Nevertheless, to me, and to her, they are strangers.

My love for Madison has a fierceness that surprises me. And that's why giving her to someone else for the whole day can just seem so wrong.

I want to control and protect and defend and teach and love her. And keep her to myself. But. To raise her well, I must raise her to leave me. Isn't that what being a parent is all about? Encouraging your children...teaching them to be self-sufficient, independent, and successful...enabling them to find their own happiness in this world. There are many times during Madison's life that I know my duty as a mother will be to show her that it is okay to leave me...to leave the nest that Matt and I have created for her. Today. Her first day of kindergarten. College. Her wedding day. As much as I want to shield her from the world forever, I know that, little by little, throughout the years, I will have to let her go. I'm not exactly sure how to do this, but, somehow, leaving her at daycare this morning feels like a part of that lesson.

And for me, letting go a little takes a humility I don't have much of and willingness to admit that maybe, just maybe it's okay for her to be away from us for awhile. But don't you think for one minute that I'm not going to smother her with hugs and kisses every evening.

And I have one more thing to add: dear, dear daycare, please know that when I send to you my darling daughter, that I am sending you a part of my own soul. I thank you for wanting to help me raise her and I pray that she will be a gift to you while she is there.

2 comments:

LaurensMom said...

Awww...very well said, but I have to admit the very thought of Lauren going to kindergarden, let alone everything else you mentioned, sends me into a near panic. But I love this post.

Patricia said...

Letting go is hard. You weren't legally mine, but I felt like you were mine. I hated knowing you were off to new adventures and trials that I wasn't there to see sometimes. Letting go when you married Matt (Charles & I both thought you were too young), but look what we all got in return--Miss Madi Max. And how we love her!!! She's OK today. I know that!!!