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Monday, September 14, 2009

Torn

I feel as if my heart is torn in a million pieces. We've pretty much come to the conclusion that Madison is probably allergic to animal dander (even though I don't think Matt is completely ready to admit it). She's had cold symptoms for over a month now. And after she spent a long weekend at the lake with no animals, we noticed she started doing a lot better...only to come home again and have the cold symptoms return.

For some people, this probably doesn't seem like a huge issue. "Get her tested, and if the results come back positive, just get rid of your pets". Those people have never had a pet who is a huge part of your family. Matt and I love our kitties. They've been a huge part of our lives. I've had Adele since my Sophomore year of college. June was a Christmas present to Matt in 2005, the year before we were married.

I had a really hard time getting Adele to eat for weeks after I brought her home...turns out she was taken from the care of her Mommy too early. I still believe this is the reason for her extreme attachment to me. When she was a baby kitty, she would cry and cry and cry if she couldn't see me. She has been with me through tough times. We have made a home together in 4 different places. She has cuddled with me at night, provided me with so much joy and laughter, given me a few scares (like the time she caught herself on fire). She has even licked tears from my cheek. Adele has been a constant companion.

June was the baby in our home before we had a baby. Adele wasn't too sure about her at first, but after awhile, even she seemed quite protective of little June (who turned out to be not so little at all). June is our friendly girl, our curious but timid girl, our Daddy's girl (just like Madi). Though June likes people much more than Adele, she shows such preference to Matt. She follows him around and cries after him until he gives her attention. June loves Matt, and Matt loves June. She was there for him when his dad passed away. I'm sure I pushed and pushed and pushed him to talk to me...even when he didn't feel like talking. The silence scared me. June, however, gave Matt space when he needed it and love when he needed it. What a bond they have!

Our cats have mirrored our personalities. Adele is prissy, silly, loyal, territorial, protective, and hates going to the doctor! June is easygoing, nosey, quiet (unless she has something important to say), patient, and a good listener! They are such an important part of our lives.

Yet, our daughter is our first priority in this world. How can we make her live in a home where she can't even breathe well? How can we continue to expose her to allergens that could cause her to develop asthma? I'm struggling...and I'm so heartbroken. I cry every time I think about giving June and Adele away...and I cry every time I think about Madison not feeling well because of something we expose her to.

I'm trying to take this one step at a time. I ordered some special shampoo for June and Adele. The reviews swear it works. I'm hoping that if we bathe them once a week, it might help. I've read that air purifiers may also help a great deal. If the shampoo doesn't help, I'm going to try to get Madison an appointment with an allergist to confirm what my mommy instincts are telling me. And where we'll go from there, I just don't know...

1 comments:

LaurensMom said...

I'm sorry - I can't imagine how hard that is. Pets are family and it is a hard thing for you to go through. Take it a step at a time, though. Maybe there's something else in the house that Madi's reacting to...or even if it is the kitties, there could be some kind of solution where you can still keep them - just try not to think about the 'what ifs' until they become reality. Hope it gets better - Lauren goes long periods of time with cold symptoms, too. Coughs, runny nose. Sometimes for her it's teething. Hang in there! I'm sure it'll work out.